Hey. I missed you, blog.
So much has happened since I last saw you in November of 2013... ebola, a new royal baby, and so on. My loved ones have been through a lot: Grandpa turned 90, mom lost her best friend, my brother found the love of his life... my friends have suffered huge losses but also reached the highest highs. Breakups, weddings, babies, moving across the country, moving back home, new jobs, new haircuts. I've reconnected with people I never thought I'd be close to again, and met people that have nestled themselves so snugly into the fabric of my life (probably a sensible cotton, if you're wondering) that I don't think I could pull them out if I tried!
Me? I don't know how I can put into words the last year and a half. I won't give you the whole "I'm not the same person," because I am. Just chiseled away. Pretty much the same size on the outside, but the intangibles have changed. I'd like to think this city has taught me how to thicken the shell and soften the core. Let people on the street cry if they need to. Don't let someone get onto your subway car without letting you off first. Give the homeless guy your protein bar. Stand up to your landlord when you know something's unfair. Find the quiet in all the noise. Nowadays, I'm quicker to irritation but also quicker to empathy than I used to be. I never feel completely alone, not if I don't want to be.
It wasn't always easy, though. They said the first six months are the hardest, right? RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. Too right. Painfully right. I had no idea how right. So glad I'm through that time... maybe I'll write more about it later, but basically I suffered from depression for the first time in my life during my first winter here. It was a challenge I never planned on facing, and I'm so grateful it's over. My heart goes out to everyone who has to see life through that murkiness every day.
Anyway, I was going to write something chipper, but that clearly didn't happen. Welcome back to the blogging world, me! Back for round 347.
-mm
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